Ah, the office Christmas party. That wonderful time of year when coworkers come together to celebrate hard work and camaraderie...
only, it’s also often around the same time that you realise you don’t really know any of your colleagues very well – and that, combined with an open bar and a karaoke machine, can make for one awkward night.
So, to make you feel a little better about any past (or future) shockers, we’ve compiled the best collection of head-shaking office party stories the internet has to offer.
- “A district manager hired two of his colleagues to arrive at the company holiday party to "burgle" it. Unfortunately for the manager, his staffers not only showed up drunk – but also packed a shotgun for the occasion. Collecting money, wallets and jewellery from the party guests, one of the 'robbers' even pointed his gun at the manager's boss, yelling "Don’t be a hero!". The boss, frightened by his hires' less-than-funny acting job, relieved himself on the spot… and when his subordinate confessed, promptly fired him. Note to others… scaring your boss so much that they pee their pants at a party is not a good career move.”
- ”Only five people of 30 showed up (including myself). We proceeded to drink too much and subsequently discussed in great detail who of our coworkers we would cage fight in the office.”
- “The entertainment consisted of the head of the company showing us his vacation slides…and then he sang a song about a bear. The slides were beautiful, but just reinforced the difference between the haves and have-nots. And it got old after the second carousel.”
- “My former boss got drunk, sat me down at the bar and said that he was giving me a raise to [less money than he was currently paying me]. Whoops!”
- “The party was like a frat house run amok. The director drank too much and threw up shrimp cocktail on the white shag carpet. The plant manager got into a screaming fight with his wife in the driveway. The chemist was found making out with the loading dock supervisor, who was about 30 years her senior and, more importantly, not her husband. And I accidentally walked in on the sales director peeing in the unlocked hallway bathroom (which I thought was the coat closet; we were both surprised). The president himself got completely hammered and went around telling people totally inappropriate stories, gave me a giant bear hug that lasted a little too long, and broke the sliding door to his patio.”
*This list was compiled with the help of the Fast Track
blog, Mental Floss